What the HECK are THEY doing here!
by xXSweetestXAngelXNightmareXx
Summary: Ed and Envy just showed up in my room. Not a clue how that cirlce worked. Nor do I know what to do with them. Or what I have given up to bring them here. And how am I supposed to go to SakuraCon if I have the REAL CHARACTERS in tow! No pairings...YET.
1. WTF?

Setting: 21st-century Gig Harbor, Washington, about fifteen minutes away from Tacoma.

OC File:

Name: Zoey Husted

Age: 15

Hobbies: Art, sneaking the keys to learn how to drive, watching anime.

Personality: Just wait and see ;)

* * *

"WHAT?!" I shouted, "THAT'S BULL!"

I had just finished watching the last episode of _Fullmetal Alchemist_. And boy, was I pissed off.

WHAT KIND OF AN ENDING IS THAT?!

Okay, Alphonse gets his body back, but ED STILL HAS HIS AUTOMAIL AND HE'S STUCK IN A DIFFERENT WORLD? WHAT THE CRAP?

I was about to throw a fit when I noticed the title in the "if you liked this anime, try…" box.

_Fullmetal Alchemist the Movie: Conquerer of Shamballa._

THEY MADE A MOVIE?!

I clicked the link.

* * *

After awhile, i noticed that it was nine. I had to head upstairs to my room, before my mom found me on the computer when she got home. But I had a design stuck in my head; It wasnt shakeable. It was seriously complicated, but somehow crystal clear.

Does that make any sense? I hope so.

So, as soon as pushed the door closed, i put up my dirty blonde hair and pulled out my big pad of paper. And when i say big, i mean huge-assed, multiple-labrador-retrivers-could-sleep-comfortably-on-it, four-and-a-half-foot-by-five-foot pad of paper. I got it custom ordered off of this site that makes custom art supplies(I had about five pads in my closet-I bought in bulk.) I pulled out a mechanical pencil, and drew a large circle. After that, it was all kind of easy. A line here, a symbol there, pretty soon you have this mandala-looking thing and it hasnt even been twenty minutes.

I sat back and looked at my handiwork. Call me crazy, but it looked like something out of the show.

I grinned; I would totally copy a smaller version and set it as the profile pic of my Facebook. But now that my mission was up, i was suddenly exhausted. And no wonder- I had done the Square of Death(1) in soccer so i was probably running on empety. But right before i fell asleep(on top of the pad, I might add. I was just that tired.) I could have sworn i saw the circle flash blue...

* * *

_"Well this is a crappy dream," I muttered, looking around. I was in a white room, the only distinguishing thing was the massive gate in front of me. Come to think of it, It looked just like the one from _Fullmetal Alchemist...

_"Nice job, there, using alchemy in that dimension." A voice echoed. I looked around, somewhat startled, then smirked._

_"Yeah, right. Alchemy is fictional, and even if it were possible, not in this world."_

_"I wouldnt be too sure about that, Modern Al-chem-ist. But the question is, what shall you be giving up?"_

_"Pshht. Yeah right," I said to whatever the voice was, "Its a dream, I dont have to give up anything."_

_"Well, if you arent going to choose...I suppose you'll just have to wait and see!"_

I was being shaken awake. I smacked at the arms shaking me, moaning. "Dunn' wann' go da schoo..."

"Will you just wake up, already?"

I frowned. The voice struck a chord, but which memory, i couldn't remember. I opened my eyes...

And was met with two golden ones and two purple ones.

Oh, holy hell.

"WHATHEFUUUUUUUUUUCK?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!??!!"

The two people leaning over me were indisputably Edward Elric and Envy. There was NO WAY to refute or refuse this fact. Of course, Ed had that old red jacket on. The one from before the movie. He couldnt have been much older than I was. Envy... Looked like Envy. He wasnt a freaky dragon thing -yet- But his hair was still green and pokey.

But it made NO FRICKIN SENSE! Edward and Alphonse were anime characters, they didnt just come to life whenever they felt like it! Could they?

My eyes flickered from Ed, to Envy, to Ed's gloved automail hand, to Envy's hair, to Ed, to Envy, to Ed, to Envy's clothes... And so on and so forth. It was so... _bizarre_. Beyond belief.

Ed waved his right hand in front of my face, and i could hear a faint grind of metal as he did. "Hello? Anyone in there?"

"I think you scared her." Ed turned to Envy, "You jerk."

"Because I care, Mr. Fullmetal Pipsqueak?"Envy said, getting a rise out of Edward, causing a shouting match

"Uh, can i get a word in edgewise?" I asked, pitifully nervous-sounding. Two pairs of eyes turned to look at me.

"What the hell are you two doing in my room?"

The alchemist and the homunculus glanced at each other. "We dont know." Ed finally said. Envy grunted in affirmation.

I facepalmed, groaning, "This is my fault..."

"What's your fault?" Ed asked.

"That you guys are here. I dont get it: Alchemy dosent work on this side of the Gate." I explained. "And..." I ran a hand through my hair, sighing, "You guys are supposed to be fictional characters."

They looked at me blankly.

I shrugged, "You know... Fiction? As in fantasy? As in you two arent supposed to exist?!"

Homunculus and alchemist blinked once.

I snapped in their faces, "Hello? Earth to fictional characters? Anyone home?"

Ed flinched back and Envy glared. "Would you stop that?" The homunculus snapped, and I pulled my hand back.

"So, let me get this straight..." Ed narrowed one eye, "Envy and I, and everyone either of us have ever known, are not supposed to exist. At all."

"According to the author of the anime and manga you two come out of, Wikipedia, and the entire world? Exactly."

Envy plopped himself on the beanbag in the corner of my room, "And how do you expect to prove it to us?" He asked nonchalantly.

I shrugged. "Like this," I stated, and opened my closet. I pulled out the Fullmetal Alchemist volumes I had that werent on loan from my friends and tossed them at him. He caught them, examining them lazily. "Proof enough?"

Edward grabbed one of the volumes, giving it a once-over. "Why is this book backwards?"

"Because it's in original format. The style of book that is -Manga- is written in Japan, usually, and that particular country reads in the opposite direcion that mine and yours do." I answered, and pulled the volume from Ed's grip. I tried to take the five that Envy had, but his grip was too strong. "Dude. Gimme the book back."

"No."

I blinked. "...No?"

"Thats what I said, isnt it?" Envy said without even looking up. He was apparently reading the first volume. He flipped a page, "I'm interested now."

I blinked slowly. "...That is not something I ever thought I would hear you say. Or read you say. Or whatever."

Ed scrambled over, reading over the homunculus's shoulder. It was a really, really odd sight. Envy didnt appear to notice Ed's hovering.

Again, I blinked. "Okay. So, if you guys... arent a hallucination, then you can sleep on the floor. My closet should have some blankets if you need any..." I picked up my sketchpad. The design I had drawn about -I checked my clock- an hour earlier had completely dissappeared from the page. There was no hope in reversing it now.

I placed the sketchpad gingerly behind my desk and fell onto my bed. One last glance at the two manga characters: They were completely engrossed in the volume. They looked to be about halfway through.

I closed my eyes and allowed my mind to rest.

* * *

**Hoo, boy, Interesting, no? So, anyway, All you readers need to help. This is where you get to choose what happens first.**

**1) Ed and Envy go to SakuraCon with me and manga obsessed friend (and this option assumed spring break) and meet Vic, Travis, Aaron and Caitlin.  
**

**2) Ed and Envy get enrolled in my school.**

**3) Ed and Envy discover Fanfiction, along with the animes.**

**4) Ed and Envy just flat out meet manga-obsessed friend when said friend comes over for scheduled sleepover. Friend recognizes the two.**

**5) Other. Put in reply. Thanx very much.**

**Iggy: She's actually got most of these sort of planned out, she just needs to figure out which one to take first.**


	2. First day of school? OH SNAP!

Setting: 21st-century Gig Harbor, Washington, about fifteen minutes away from Tacoma.

OC File:

Name: Zoey Husted

Age: 15

Hobbies: Art, sneaking the keys to learn how to drive, watching anime.

Personality: Just wait and see ;)

* * *

CLANK! CRASH!

"DAMMIT, ENVY, GIMME BACK MY COAT!"

It has been a week since those two showed up in my room that night, and theyre still up at ungodly hours in the morning fighting like idiots. I get that theyve been written that way, or whatever, but you would think that after multiple punishments... I dunno. They would take a hint? For some reason Ed could still do alchemy(As we found out when he transmuted my alarm clock into a pile of plastic and stuff) and Envy could still change shapes.

I stumbled out of my room, right into Envy, who was wearing Ed's red coat. I grabbed him by the ear, and pulled. Hard. He looked at me in surprise.

Ed came around the corner, and stopped when he saw us. Then he looked slightly... Ohmygod, was he afraid? I must have really gotten the "Murderously enraged" look down, even when Ive only been up for like a minute.

"Edward Elric. Envy Nosurname. You have officially annoyed the crap out of me." I growled, tugging on Envy's ear. He flinched. "If you two arent gonna stop fighting, Ed will be minus one limb and you will be minus your head. I dont have the materials to replace a philosopher's stone or an automail limb. Capiche?!" I growled.

Envy smirked here, though he did look a little fearful, "And what makes you think you can seperate my head from my body?" He chuckled. He earned a fist to the gut.

Jeezum, I never thought I would use my taekwondo lessons so much in one morning.

I let go of Envy and turned to Edward. "You. Clean up whatever mess you two made."

***

The next day...

"WAKE UP YA FREAKSHOWS!"

I kicked at Envy, who was sleeping on the ground using my beanbag for a pillow, until he managed to wake up. Levering himself up into a sitting position, he glared at me with somewhat alert eyes, "Why the hell are we up at-" he glanced at my clock, "Five thirty in the fucking morning?" At this point I had shoved Ed out of the chair he had fallen asleep in.

"Because. You two are going to school with me today."

Edward was suddenly very awake, "School?" He and Envy asked, Ed in fear and Envy in anger. Yes, I had told them of their hoardes of fangirls. Envy was indifferent; Ed was actually kinda scared. I understood: I wouldnt want fangirls constantly asking me out or whatever fangirls do either.

I opened the closet we shared(along with a room - Dont worry, no illicit activities here.) and began tossing clothes at the boys. For Ed: Bootcut jeans, black tee, red and black jacket, Doc Marten boots. For Envy: Black skinny jeans, black tee, dark green jacket, green Converse hi-tops, black arm warmers. I had gone shopping for the two weeks earlier, after guesstimating their sizes, and spent near my entire personal savings on wardrobe for the two. Then, after grabbing an outfit for myself(Hard Rock Cafe: Niagra Falls tee, khaki cargoes, hiking boots, and my trusty BillaBong hoodie) I ordered the two to get dressed.

The night before, I had gone shopping for everything they could possibly need. Backpack, pencils, paper, stuff. Envy had requested an IPod at the expense of my cosplay outfit (I was going to go as Ed in his millitary uniform to SakuraCon, but now since i had the REAL Ed going with me, I would go as Riza Hawkeye or something.) so I had blown five hundred dollars or so on two Ipods, red for Ed, green for Envy, matching earbuds for each, and a bunch of songs. I resolved never to let Envy know where my cosplay stuff was again. Those were handed to both teens along with a HotPocket (a wonder that never ceased to amaze Ed- "Breakfast, right there in your hand, and best of all, theres no milk!") when we left for the bus at seven in the morning. School began at seven thirty.

However, something had to be done about Envy's hair. So I dragged him in front of the full-length mirror in the hallway by his hair and stood him there. "Black hair. Green eyes. Go."

"Fine,"He conceeded, "Whats wrong with my hair and my eyes the way they were?"

"Turn back around," I ordered, "Nobody in this world has green hair and they certianly dont have purple eyes. Except a certian, quote enquote, 'crossdressing gender-confused palm tree reject' from a popular manga and anime. You'll be recognized like _that_." I snapped to demonstrate.

Envy stiffened and turned around, stressmarks covering his face, "What did you call me, little girl?"

I blinked, "I didnt call you anything, Envy. Everyone else does, though."

Cue eyetwitch on the now raven-haired homonculus. He turned and stomped away, practically foaming from the mouth. Ed came out of the bathroom, "What has him pissed off?" He asked curiously.

"I told him everyone thinks hes a gender-confused crossdressing palmtree."

"...That makes sense. Remind me to use that more often." He grinned wickedly.

I smacked him upside the head, "We dont need any genocide in Gig Harbor, thanks very much!"

* * *

**Whooopeeeeeee! Randomness! Next time: Three hours. Two anime characters. One very pissed off and slightly confused maybe?alchemist. Big drama. YAY DRAMA!**

**REVIEW CRAZY PEEPLEZ**

**Iggy: They arent all as crazy as you are...**


	3. Classes, girls, and BIG TROUBLE

Setting: 21st-century Gig Harbor, Washington, about fifteen minutes away from Tacoma.

OC File:

Name: Zoey Husted

Age: 15

Hobbies: Art, sneaking the keys to learn how to drive, watching anime.

Personality: Just wait and see ;)

* * *

"I still dont see why this is necessary." Envy muttered from the passenger seat.

I sighed, "Because it helps build character. Or because all under-eighteen's are legally obligated to attend school. If I cant figure out how to get you guys home, then you're gonna have to get jobs in a couple of years, which you need highschool diplomas for, and am NOT paying for your food bills. Seriously, its only been a week and my fridge is already cleared out! Mom barely makes enough money to pay the rent, she dosent need a massive food bill too!" I ended up ranting as we pulled into the parking lot. "Anyway, you guys have to act normal if you dont want to be recognized."

"'No short-ranting, genocide, IPods in class, or kicking peoples asses when they insult you.'" Envy and Ed quoted bitterly. "Yes, we _know_!"

"Exactly. Just tell me if someone decides to be a jerk and I'll handle it." I nodded as I finally found a parking spot, "Let's head in. Oh, and Envy?"

"What?"

"Your name is Erik, and you guys are taking my last name. The official story is that we're step-cousins..."

xXxXx

Peninsula High School is one of two high schools in the district. It's also the one with the better reputation. A reputation that i had a bad feeling something was going to happen to. That something could be named Ed or Envy, I'm not sure yet.

The main lobby was pretty empty, though teens were just starting to trickle through the doors. As soon as I walked through the doors, however, I got a sudden head rush, and leaned against the doorway to steady myself. Ed looked concerned, and Envy looked slightly confused but uncaring, so I stood up and continiued on my march like nothing had happened. However, once I got a look at the office, I realized something.

"Oh, frickittyfrick!" I mock-cursed, swinging my backpack around and onto a nearby bench. Both anime characters looked at me quizzically. "Ed's prostheses." I gestured vaugely, "He cant do PE. Hold on, I need to forge a note."

I took out a prescription pad I had downloaded off the internet, and a piece of notebook paper. In about two seconds, I had forged the signatures of my mother and my doctor, along with notes containing some stupid reason why he couldnt participate in a P.E. course.

Ed bent over to examine my handiwork, "You do this a lot?" He asked.

"Nah. I'm just incredibly creative minded and I have a photographic memory. Not as bad as Sheska's though." I smiled up at him cheesily and zippered my backpack. "Shall we then?"

"Sure."

The rest of the fifty feet to the office continiued without incident (besides Envy growling at some freshman, who shrank back instantly) and their schedules were handed over without incident, save the fact of Ed's PE credit, which was given a bye and he got a study hall instead. The desk lady highlighted their classes on a map, and labeled where the office was too.

I had arranged for us all to have the same first period class, English 10 with Mrs. Marinelli. She was a kind woman, young and energetic. Though English wasnt my favorite subject, Ms. M was always my favorite teacher, besides Ms. Harris, the Choir teacher.

Ed, Envy and I all sat at the same row, myself between the two boys. Lots of people were staring, and a few girls in the very back were staring confusedly at Ed's hair. However, Mrs. M got class going (after a brief intro of the new students) and we were all pulled into an essay project. The U.S. Constitution: Write five paragraphs on one amendment in the Bill of Rights and why it is important to the freedom of the country. "You may use the books in front of you to choose an amendment, and you may work in groups to get started. Good luck." She sat behind her computer, and there was a second's rest before there was a furious flipping of pages.

I pulled the book out and flipped to the index page. After pointing Ed and Envy each out an amendment I thought they would enjoy writing about the most, (I thought Envy might appreciate the right to bear arms, while Ed the Fifth Amendment) and spent the next forty five minutes or so chattering mindlessly about it. They both complained, though with a subtle threat('I'll send you to your fan clubs in a box with minimal clothing!'(1)) and they pretty much shut up about how 'stupid it was that they should do something like this'

* * *

Lunchtime. Joy.

I decided to bring lunch for the three of us, because the school lunches were absolutely toxic(I had indeed warned the two) and because that way we didnt have to worry about getting the good seats, the ones outdoors. We probably could have snuck off-campus, and went to the Bridgeway Market, but thats not really allowed in the first place.

But I digress.

I plopped down at one of the round tables in the corner, kind of wanting some privacy. "So? How's your first day?"

Envy scowled, "Humans really put up with this stuff? Where do you use this stuff, anyway?" He slammed his geometry textbook on the table in punctuation. "Honestly."

Ed set his stack of books on the table, several of which were library books I had recommended him during my Librarian;s Assistant period before lunch. I had started him on a couple of Dan Brown's works, and also got him the first volume of Inuyasha. Now, I know, why Inuyasha?

I figured the boy needed some fantasy in his life.

"Env-Erik," He caught himself, "Will you stop complaining? You arent the only one who hates their teachers." He growled.

Oh yeah. Envy hated math in general, and I shared his opinion, but Ed probably already knew this math. The school didnt want to place him too far ahead, so they put him in normal math with Envy. He told me when I checked out his books that he and the math teacher had a little "difference in opinion" because Ed thought that he could teach the book better. Honestly, he probably could. "Yeah, but you cant just go pissing off the teachers for something stupid. He gets paid to teach. Let him keep his paycheck." I reprimanded, handing the two their lunches, "Though I agree, he does suck."

"I second that opinion," Envy muttered through a mouthful of apple.

"Then we're agreed." I finalized, "So what happened otherwise?"

Envy raised an eyebrow, "You really put me in... _band_? Playing a _bass_ guitar?"

"I dont trust you with sharp objects, drumsticks or loud speakers."

"Fair enough." He returned to his apple, kicking his legs up on the table and leaning back in his chair.

I smirked, then turned to Edward, who had turned red. "What happened to you?" I questioned.

"Uhh..."

"Spit it out."

"Yeah, pipsqueak, we wanna know"

"WH-" He caught himself when I raised an eyebrow. He sighed,resting his head on the table while tapping the gloved fingers on his right hand with a small metallic clunk as each finger hit the table, "I was asked out."

After being hit by another head rush, I replied, "Really? Thats-"

"Five times."

Envy fell backwards out of his chair, and my eye was twitching. "Five... In sixty minutes?"

Ed nodded. By this time Envy was half-glaring at him, like it was Ed had knocked him out of the chair on , you know, maybe he did, it was certianly possible.

"Well, you said no, didnt you?" I asked. He didnt answer. "Well, didnt you?"

"Uh, well, the thing about that is-"

I didnt hear the rest, because suddenly the world tilted and went black.

* * *

**Mwahaha! Is I evil or what? HAHAHAHAHA!**

**I've decided: This is gonna be mostly Mangaverse, though the dimensions idea did come from the anime. **

**Iggy: ...So its a Mix-a-verse?**

**Me:... I guess so. R/R/R!**


	4. Emergency rooms and Dr Pepper

Setting: 21st-century Gig Harbor, Washington, about fifteen minutes away from Tacoma.

OC File:

Name: Zoey Husted

Age: 15

Hobbies: Art, sneaking the keys to learn how to drive, watching anime.

Personality: Just wait and see ;)

* * *

"Uh, well the thing about that is-" Edward was cut off when Zoey's eyes rolled back into her head and she slumped backwards, her head cracking sickeningly against the white linoleum when she hit the ground. Anyone within a fifty foot radius stopped and looked in their direction.

Edward and Envy were stunned. Was this some kind of sick joke? However, as soon as the first teachers came rushing to the scene, they knew this was not the case.

"What happened?"

"Is she sick?"

"Well, _duh!_"

"Someone call an ambulance!"

"Thank God that new hospital just opened up near downtown."

Ed and Envy watched as the PE teacher, whose name they did not know, lifted her bridal-style and laid he on one of the rectangular tables, while the crowd parted to let them through, like the -What did she call it?- Red Sea. The custodian set to work cleaning up the blood mess from her head. Someone pulled out a small black object -A cell phone, they guessed- and pressed some buttons, then held it up to their ear and begain speaking rapidly.

"She just collapsed. Yes, the high school. Right now! Her mother is being notified. Her family will be going with her. Of course they're students. No, they arent hurt. Thank you. Please hurry." The person spoke to the principal, who nodded.

Another teacher came up to the teenage anime characters. "Do you know what happened?"

"Not a clue," Envy replied. Ed merely nodded.

The teacher looked dissappointed. "Well, wait with your sister till the ambulance comes."

"She's not our sister," Ed replied, but the teacher had already walked off.

* * *

_The Gate._

_I looked around; It was that pure white space again. Nothing but the Gate and the shadow on what passed for ground. I looked around for whoever was supposed to be around. "Hello?" I called._

_"Welcome back, Modern Al-chem-ist" I could suddenly see a figure in the whiteness; There was a sort of 3-D outline around him/her/it, along with a toothy grin where a face would be. He had a flesh arm and leg; I knew them to be Edward's own arm and leg, and I wondered just what fucked-up, God-forsaken fanfiction I had jumped into._

_"This is no fan-made story, I promise you that."_

_Oh, hell. It's reading my mind now._

_"Of course! Dont you know who I am?" The grin became wider, if possible, and recited the line of doom. _

_"I am what is known as God, or World, or One, or All, and most importantly,"_

_The gate creaked open, and Edward's finger pointed at my face, almost making me cross-eyed._

_"**I am YOU!**" It thundered, and I fell back into the gate, images flowing around and in front of and _through_ my head, until I finally pulled back..._

...And woke up in my body.

I cracked an eyelid open half a millimeter, then closed it again. The florescence was painful to my eyes. Instead, I focused on my other senses.

Touch. I could feel an IV needle in my right hand.

Taste. I could taste plastic-flavored air from an oxygen mask over my face.

Smell. Chemicals and more plastic and pure oxygen.

Hearing. The steady, if annoying, beeping of a heart moniter and the shuffling of nurses around the room I knew to be the ER.

"Hey." A voice said. I cracked an eye open again, then smiled.

"Mommy." I croaked. I was suprised that my voice sounded like that, though it was muffled by the oxygen mask. "You should be at school right now, shouldnt you?"

Mom laughed. "Family emergency. The Professer can deal with it."

I laughed weakly, too. "Where are...?"

"The boys?" Mom finished, "Edward is out trying to find a vending machine. The other one is asleep right here." Indeed he was. He had let his hair return to its normal green, and it somehow presented some security. I'm insane, I know, but thats how it is.

"Its weird, but I could have sworn his hair was black earlier." Mom continiued.

"It was," I replied, "He, uh, does that. Its one of those quirk thingies."

Mom gave a knowing smile, "You want me to wake him up?"

"No!" I said, a little loudly. "Um, he'd be all grouchy and stuff. Please dont."

The curtain seperating my bed from the rest of the ER parted, and a Edward came in holding about three Dr. Peppers. "You're awake, thank god." He smiled cheerily, then pressed one of the cold bottles of soda to Envy's arm. A second later, said arm shot out, landing in Edward's gut. An oof! later, and Envy was sitting up, however grumpily. Edward picked up the near-exploded sodas and tpssed one to Envy, one to Mom, and cracked the third open. "What, none for me?" I asked.

"You werent awake. Besides, the doctor said you shouldnt be drinking much but water," Ed explained, taking a sip from the bottle. After a second, he gave it a look. "What is in this stuff?"

"Sugar, caffine, and a whole lot of high fructose corn syrup. If you dont want it, I'll take it." I answered.

He hugged it, "No way. Its great!"

Cue sigh from Yours Truly.

* * *

Bwahahahaha. Slightly filler, but still important, I think.

Iggy: .... Not so much.

Me: Iggy, you dont know anything :(

Iggy: Riiiiiight....


	5. BUSTED!

Setting: 21st-century Gig Harbor, Washington, about fifteen minutes away from Tacoma.

OC File:

Name: Zoey Husted

Age: 15

Hobbies: Art, sneaking the keys to learn how to drive, watching anime.

Personality: Just wait and see ;)

* * *

The hospital discharged me the next day, because they couldnt find anything wrong despite the weird fainting spell. They suggested I take it easy, and stay on the BRATY -Banannas, Rice, Applesauce, Toast, Yogurt- diet for a day or two. Edward and Envy would have to deal with school without me, and they did, though fairly eventfully(The local non-gang wanted to initiate Envy, and Edward became the unofficial Math class mentor.) I told them to tell anyone who asked them out that they had a girlfriend already. That, and to keep their heads in the books. I helped them with the English essay. Ed seemed to love it, while Envy...not so much. I didnt blame him.

I didnt feel sick, really. I just felt out of place. You ever get that feeling? Im sure Ed and Envy felt it a lot. _Maybe I just feel that way cuz I'm not at school with them, like I should be_, I thought all that week.

Of course, that could just be my trying to bullshit myself. A failed attempt, cuz I was still a bit concerned.

"Envy, whaddaya got so far?" I asked the homunculus.

He shrugged, and showed me his two paragraphs, handwritten. He had a talent for perfect cursive handwriting, and it looked like it jumped right out of the time when the constitution was written. "Two paragraphs on why the Second Thingamabob is important to the freedoms and liberty of the nation... and stuff." He made an 'eww' face, "Its so corny, it isnt even _funny_."

"The word is 'amendment.' And it _is _important," I emphasized wearily, "Because back when it was written, there were battles all over the place. Not to mention, wolves? People trying to break in? They needed protection against, lets face it, people like_ you_."

He mock-gasped, "I resent that statement!"

"Suuuure you do, you sadistic bastard." Edward called from a few feet away. He lifted his handwritten papers high, waving them around, "Mine's done."

"Great. Now go type it."

"_What?_"

"You're an alchemist. A scientist. Scientists have a tendancy to have really crappy writing, cuz they jot stuff down so quickly." I explained, "Plus, I've seen your handwriting, which even I cant read for shit."

Envy snickered behind me, but stopped when I unleashed a Glare at him.

Life was good.

* * *

When I got back to school, I was assaulted during lunch by my best friend, Mariah. She was half-black, slightly on the chubby side(but still looking as good as any other girl in school - What? A girl can say another girl is good looking without being a lesbian, cant they?)and wearing her usual pom pom-looking ponytail.

She also gave me her usual, havent-seen-you-in-over-72-hours greeting. A glomp.

Squeal. Thud. Ow.

The anime characters behind me looked on silently.

"!" She chattered. (A/n-See if you can decipher that!)

I chuckled, "Yeah, I guess I did. Mariah, this is Erik and Edward, my step-cousin... things." I said. "My stepmom's brother's kids. Ed, Erik, this is my best friend Mariah Bauleke."

Edward greeted her, while Envy simply nodded.

"Cool, nice to meet you!" Mariah grinned, "Can I borrow Zoey for just a minute?" She asked, and yanked me away by the arm painfully without waiting for an answer.

"Oww! Fuck, Riah, what the hell was that for?" I whispered. She glared at me.

"Who the hell do you think you're fooling? I KNOW that thats Edward and Envy from Fullmetal."

My eye twitched involuntarily, "How... how did you-"

Her face lit up, "So they really are them? OMG!" She squealed.

"Wait, what?"

"I just said that to be funny, but they really are Ed and Envy? Holy crap!"

I groaned, facepalming several times. This sucked, bad.

* * *

**Okay, yeah. Short. But still, this is what has happened. Deal. And review.**

**Iggy: Or she WILL find you. Trust me.**


End file.
